"Married?" she screeched. Lowering her voice as the pulse shattered her temples, she moaned, "Oh, no, this is terrible."
She felt the mattress give as he sat down beside her but she couldn't look at him.
"Joey."
She covered her eyes with both hands.
"Joey. We have to talk about this."
The tenderness in his voice caught her. "What happened last night? How could we do such a stupid thing?"
She felt him stiffen, but he said nothing.
"How could we do that? We must have been crazy! I must have been crazy. Now what are we going to do?"
"Do about what?"
"Getting unmarried, of course," she cried. The sound of her own voice crashed through her throbbing head. She pressed her fingertips to her temples. Oh, Lord, what were they going to do?
"Is that what you want?"
She looked at him then. For the first time that morning, she really looked at him. His hair was still damp from the shower and he smelled of soap and shampoo. He hadn't shaved, and his morning stubble was dark against his lean face. He was unsmiling, his face expressionless. The hollows under his eyes seemed more pronounced this morning, but that could mean anything. Lack of sleep, perhaps.
Her mind skittered away from the thought of what had caused him to lose sleep. For a moment, she was tempted to stroke that firm jaw, feel the pulse beating strongly under it, but she feared instinctively that right now, he wouldn't welcome her touch.
She met his gaze, his dark eyes steady on hers. He seemed to wait for her answer, giving nothing away. She had no idea how he felt about this impossible situation they found themselves in. He couldn't like it any better than she did.
Her voice a mere whisper, she asked, "What do you want?"
"I asked you first."
She stiffened, then rolled to the other side of the bed. "Right now I want a shower."
"Joey."
"Then maybe I'll be able to think how to get us out of this mess."
Angry enough not to notice her nudity, she stomped into the bathroom, her stomach revolting with each fierce stride. She closed the door firmly and turned the shower on. She let the water cascade over her, let her tears flow with it. How could she have done something so reckless, so stupid?
She'd done impulsive things before. Many of them. Packing away all her clothes and buying a whole new wardrobe. Chopping off her hair for sassy curls, putting away her good jewelry for wild costume stuff-all that was impetuous, a spur of the moment idea that affected no one but herself. But this?
Marrying impetuously went beyond rash and spontaneous. It was downright irresponsible. It touched lives other than her own. Oh, sweet heavens. What had she done?
When she came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her and another around her head, she found him staring out the window. He turned as she grabbed her clothes and headed back for the bathroom to dress.
"I called the air field," he said. "The plane will be ready to go when we are."
"Good."
"I also called the hospital."
That stopped her. Without turning, she asked, "How's my father?"
"Holding his own. I left a message for your folks, saying we'd be by later."
"Thank you." Grudgingly, she added, "How's Sam?"
"Fine. I called the ranch."
She nodded.
"I ordered room service."
"I'm not hungry."
"I am. Joey, we have to talk about this."
Her whole body tensed. "When I'm dressed."
She spent a long time getting into the clothes she'd worn the day before. She hated wearing the same things twice. She climbed into the same bra and panties, embarrassed that she couldn't remember taking them off. Or had he?
She bit her lip when she thought of making love with Cole-how embarrassing not to remember more than bits of pieces. She remembered the feel of his body against hers, but was that before...or after? Humiliated by her loss of control, she stepped into her one piece jumpsuit and yanked up the zipper.
There wasn't much she could do about makeup, but she fluffed her curls dry and at last, forcing herself, opened the door to face him.
He paused, a cup raised to his lips, before gesturing at the tray. "Breakfast's here."
She swallowed when she saw the pot of tea. He'd remembered. Her throat ached as she saw the fruit and rolls sitting next to a plate of bacon and eggs. Lifting her eyes to his, she tried hard not to cry. "Thanks. I think I'm hungry after all."
He nodded and pulled a chair up for her. Silently, they began eating. He worked through his breakfast quickly, finishing his second cup of coffee while she nibbled at a bran muffin.
"I didn't plan for this to happen, you know," he said.
She shot him a baleful glare. "Did you get me drunk on purpose?"
"Good God, no!"
The way he recoiled at the suggestion made her feel marginally better. Avoiding the sight of the unmade bed, she kept her gaze on his. His face remained expressionless, yet his eyes gave him away. Looking deep into their rich brown warmth, Joey saw his own confusion. It made her feel a little better.
"Then how did we end up married?"
"You don't remember?"
Flushing, she admitted, "I'm not much of a drinker."
A slight smile stretched his lips. "But a happy one. You laughed at everything last night."
"I don't remember." It hurt her to say that. It hurt to think she'd lost her senses, lost her mind. And laughed while she'd done it.
"You thought it was a great idea to get married."
"Oh," she quavered, looking down at her hands. "How did that happen?"
"You really don't remember?"
She shook her head and regretted it instantly. "However it happened, it's wrong. It's appalling."
"You'd better hear me out." He paused, studying her. "We were kissing. I was so hot for you I hurt. You wanted me, too."
Vague impressions of being pressed to him so closely they breathed as one filled her mind. She knew what his kisses did to her. She was hesitant to ask, "And?"
"I said I didn't want a one-night stand."
Doubly afraid, she lifted her eyes and waited for the rest.
"You didn't either. You suggested we get married." He slanted a dark look at her. "You said it was the perfect way to celebrate our trip to Las Vegas."
"It was my idea?" she gasped.
"It was."
"No! I would never...I don't remember! Not any of it."
"Not even the part about til death us do part?"
Her shoulders sagged. How could she make a vow and not remember? "Oh, sweet heavens," she moaned. "I must have been out of my mind."
"We both were." His mouth tightened into a wide slit that brooked no opposition. "I was randier than a teenager but I didn't have to agree."
His harsh tone didn't take the sting of humiliation away. She squirmed under his direct gaze as he went on, giving her no quarter. "We went to one of those all night wedding chapels. Neither of us cared that it was tacky."
Maybe there was some hope after all. "Is it legal?"
"Damn right it's legal. Witnesses and all."
Her last hope faded away. "And then?"
"And then we came here and checked in as Mr. and Mrs. Lassiter. We ordered champagne and-"
"You don't have to say any more!"
"You don't want to hear how we consummated our marriage?"
His words drummed into her. She dropped her aching head into her hands so she wouldn't have to look at him or see the bed. "Did we use--"
"Protection? No. I'm sorry," he said harshly.
Instinctively she knew he directed his anger at himself. "I won't get pregnant, if that's what's worrying you."
"If you were, it wouldn't matter. I'd take care of both of you."
She bit her lip. She was pleased he'd assume responsibility so easily. She was ticked he'd assume she would need or want taking care of. She'd had enough looking after from Poppa and Tom to last her for a very long time.
Cole stated, "I'm clean, you don't have to wonder about me."
Oh, sweet Lord, she hadn't even considered that possibility! She searched his face. Any man could voice those words and look sincere, she decided. What made her believe him? But she did. Down deep, where it mattered, she knew he didn't lie. Didn't cheat, or steal, or pretend to be anything but what he was. An honest man, but one she had no business marrying.
"I won't," she said. "You don't have to wonder either."
"That's settled then."
"It still doesn't answer how we're going to get out of this mess."
After a long silence, he asked, "That's what you want?"
"That's what I want."
"Damn it, Joey, look at me. I didn't force you into this and I won't be the bad guy here."
She raised her eyes to his. "I'm sorry, Cole. We had no business getting married."
"Tell me about it."
"So what are we going to do? How soon can we get a divorce?" The word tasted bad in her mouth.
Cole grimaced. "Seems to me there's something wrong with a system when two hot-heads can get married just like that," he said as he snapped his fingers, "but it takes a lot more to undo it."
She noticed he didn't like the word 'divorce' any better than she did. That made her feel better, closer to him. It didn't help matters any, but it reassured her that they were in this together. They'd find a way out together. "You're right. I wish there were some way we could undo it today, but..."
"So what do you want to do in the meantime?"
"I don't know," she faltered. "I hadn't thought about that."
"Well, better come up with something."
"Can't we pretend nothing happened, go about our business and get a quiet divorce? Nobody has to know."
"Where would you get this divorce?"
"Well, at home, of course."
He frowned at her. "You're talking about going back to California?"
"As soon as my father's ready to travel."
He didn't have to say a word to tell Joey how he felt about that idea. His displeasure showed clearly as his jaw clenched. His eyes narrowed. "I thought you'd stay here."
"In Nevada? Oh, for the divorce."
"In Montana. With me."
"Why?" she gasped in confusion.
"Married people live together."
"But that's crazy! We're not going to stay married."
"You're sure about that?"
She gaped at him. Totally confused now, she stammered, "But...we were just talking about a divorce. You said...you agreed..."
"You're the one talking about a divorce," he contradicted her flatly. "I never agreed to one."
"But..."
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "Think about it, Joey. You're the one who woke up screaming and hollering. Did you ask how I feel about it?"
"Well, no. I just assumed-"
"Yeah. I know what you thought."
"Well, why didn't you say something, then?"
He smiled at her belligerent tone. "I thought it better to let you get used to the idea first."
"You want to stay married?" she asked incredulously.
He moved and spread his hands, the fingers wide open on his splayed knees. "Maybe it's because I've been awake longer than you have. I've had more time to think about it, but yeah, that's what I'm saying."
"But-"
"Hear me out. I'm not sure if it's such a good idea. But something made us do it." He held up a hand to hold off her interruption. "Before you say it was just sex, think about it. We felt something for each other right away. I know I did. You did, too, didn't you?"
She couldn't deny it. She didn't say anything, but he knew she agreed. No matter how drunk she'd been, she knew she'd never have suggested marriage, much less gone through with the ceremony, if it wasn't something she wanted to do. It didn't make the situation any easier.
"Are you saying you love me?"
Cole sucked in his breath. When this lady laid it on the line, she didn't pull any punches. "No. I'm not saying that," he said slowly, watching her face carefully. "I'd be lying and you know it."
"Then why would you want to stay married if you, if we don't love each other?"
Ah, hell. He saw the hurt look that vanished as quickly as she got herself under control. How could he explain without hurting her even more? Explain so she'd want to stay, not run for the nearest lawyer? "Look, Joey. We're adults, right? Let's not kid ourselves. We've got the makings of a really good thing here. Ever since I saw you at the hospital, I can't get you out of my mind. I want to see you, know you in a hundred different ways." Seeing the flush spread across her cheeks, he nodded, "Yeah, that way, too. We're compatible, we've already proved that-"
"I don't know that," she began then stopped at his quick grin.
"Believe me, honey, it was good last night between us."
He caught her heightened blush and her quick glance at the bed. "You might not remember it, but it was good. Damn good. I want to make love to you again. This time I want you sober and knowing everything I'm doing to you. What we do to each other. I want to hear those little sounds you make when I'm deep inside you and I want you to know you're making them."
"Stop." Heat flooded her veins. "That's not fair."
"I don't give a damn whether it's fair or not." He stood abruptly and leaned over her chair, arms braced on either side of hers. "We've got something going for us, Joey, and I want a chance. That's all. Just a chance to make it work."
Strange, she didn't feel intimidated with him looming over her that way. She hated men who used their larger size to coerce women into doing something they didn't want to do. She considered that. Surely it had to be a point in his favor. Still, she had to be sure. "Because the sex was good?"
"Hell, no! I'm not denying it was damned fine sex and I want more, lots more, but there's something else between us, Joey. Can't you feel it?"
Shuddering, she closed her eyes. Her head hurt, her heart felt bruised. She didn't want to answer Cole, didn't want to let him know just how much she wanted to throw all belated caution to the winds and say yes, yes, there was a vibrant connection between them.
Yes, she felt it. She'd felt it that first night, and she'd felt it every day since, growing stronger and more demanding. It was too soon, too premature to label her feelings, but they were there, they existed. The question was, were they powerful enough to support a marriage?
"What if it doesn't work?" she whispered.
His shoulders sagged a little as he stood upright. "Then we call it quits. But we'll know we tried."
"I don't know if I can do that," she whispered, opening her eyes to gaze up into his. "I've always had a marriage based on love. You're asking me to ignore all of my convictions, my beliefs that marriage has to be between two people who can't live without each other."
"Honey, you've made yourself a part of my life so fast I'm not sure I can live without you."
She heard the roughness of his voice and because she wanted very much to hold on to her belief that two people had to love each other to want to marry, she also heard the underlying despair. His own certainty that they should stay married. "I just don't know."
"You won't even try?"
She hesitated. How could she make such an important decision as this with so little thought? She'd gotten herself into this mess by being impulsive and reckless. Now she had to be doubly cautious to make up for her impetuosity. She needed time to sort things out. More, she owed them both a decision based on a clear head. "Do I have to answer you right now?"
He stepped back. "I guess not." He grabbed his boots and sat on the bed to tug them on. "If you're ready, we'd better go."
The ride to the airport was silent. They sat side by side in the back of the cab, not touching but aware of each move the other made. At the hangar, Joey tumbled out of the cab and held her hand to her head to shade her eyes.
After paying off the cabby, Cole spoke with an attendant and then made his pre-flight check. Joey watched him squat to inspect the tires, then stand and bend to check cables. She admired his lean good looks, liked his broad shoulders and the way he moved, graceful and comfortable in his body. Her husband, she thought with amazement. Unplanned, unwanted, a problem, but he was definitely her husband. What was she going to do about him?
He came to her with his cowboy stride, slightly bowlegged and loose jointed. "Ready?"
This time, she climbed into the passenger seat with more confidence, if less anticipation, than yesterday. Buckling herself in, she watched him close her door, test the lock and then walk around to his side. His motions were sure, casual and kept her eyes riveted on him as he settled himself into the pilot's seat. He caught her watching him, and leaned over to kiss her.
"What was that for?"
"Because I didn't get one this morning."
"Oh," she said and absently ran her tongue over the spot he'd just kissed.
In moments, they were aloft and headed for Montana. The glare off the desert hurt her eyes so she closed them and rested her head against the seat.
"Take a nap. You'll feel better."
"Maybe." After a minute, she said, "Cole?"
"What, honey?"
"Are you sorry?"
"No. Surprised, but not sorry. Are you?"
She was silent for so long he thought she'd drifted off, but then her voice came, small and faint, but steady. "I'm not sure."
He could live with that for the time being. Glancing over at her every once in a while as she fell deeper into sleep, he felt the tension within him gradually ease. Lord knows how they'd wound up married, but married they were. And married they'd stay.
It wasn't much of a ceremony, he reflected. Him in jeans and an old plaid shirt, her in that pink thingamajig he'd had such a time getting her out of last night. But she'd laughed up at him, her eyes all sparkly and bright, her mouth lush and her body begging for his. They'd said the vows, smiling at each other. She'd said it didn't matter that they had no rings, it was the thought that counted.
Right. This morning she hadn't thought much of the idea. He scowled as he remembered how he'd woken up, aroused and still hungry for her but reluctant to wake her up. Damn good thing he hadn't.
Okay. So she'd resisted the idea, but she hadn't refused to give their marriage a try. Once he got her out on the ranch, he'd make everything so good for her that she'd never want to leave him. He'd get his ring on her finger in no time. Smiling at the thought, he glanced at her again, feeling protective and possessive.
Her lids fluttered gently as she slept. Her lashes, dark and long, lay against her cheek. He looked his fill, liking the way her face rounded into a determined little chin and those lips he couldn't resist. Her hair, ruffled into a thousand blonde, sun-streaked curls, was soft and silky, just right for his hands. He tightened, remembering last night and looking forward to tonight.
He'd make love to her properly, taking his time, making her feel every thing she should have remembered from last night. Tonight, he'd make her truly his wife.
Smiling, he flew north to Montana.
She woke when he began the descent to his ranch. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, she sat up and stretched.
Cole watched her breasts move beneath her jumpsuit and swallowed. "Feel better?"
"Mmm," she said rolling her shoulders. "I do. Remind me never to drink again."
He chuckled. "Not even another champagne toast?"
"Especially not champagne. It wipes me out."
"I noticed."
She cast a suspicious glance at him, but he smiled to show he was teasing. She smiled back. "I'm sorry about that."
"We'll make up for it," he promised.
Biting her lip, she looked away from him. It made him nervous.
"I need to talk to you about something," she began.
He flicked a quick look at her, saw the way she clenched her fingers. "I'm listening."
"Look, Cole, I think we'd be better keep this to ourselves for a while."
"No," he said flatly. Arbitrarily.
"Please, Cole. I can't tell my parents-"
"You're not a kid any more. What's to be scared of?"
"Not yet," she pleaded. "Not while my father's sick. The shock..."
"Finding out you're married is gonna kill him?"
"It sure isn't going to help him!"
"How do you know?" He pushed, keeping her deliberately off-balance while he thought of some way to change her mind.
"I can't take the chance. My Mom will be so upset. They don't need any more stress right now."
"You sound like you're scared of getting grounded for sneaking in late."
"That's silly," she said and didn't bother to hide her annoyance.
"Is it? Then why are you so afraid? Is it me?"
Ready for the next chapter?
Chapter Nine -- posted December 14, 1997
Last updated: January 4, 1998