Copyright @ Bonnie Hamre 1997 - 1998 Bonnie Hamre Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope

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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

      Joey moistened her lower lip. "I haven't made any plans to leave, Cole."
      "But you're thinking about it?"
      She was sure he could read her confusion on her face, just as she could see his uncertainty. Two people dancing around the issue. She wanted to discuss how they could make a life together; he wanted to know if she intended to leave. Weren't they two sides of the same issue?
      "What brings this on?"
      He said nothing until she prompted him with a nudge to his ribs.
      "I see how Betty treats you." He clasped her hand in his, holding tight and running his thumb over her knuckles. "You've put a damn good face on it, but she must be bugging the hell out of you."
      She felt the ridge of calluses along his palm. Strong, hard-working hands. No nonsense hands, like the man himself. "I'm not sure what the problem is, but Betty and I will have to work it out for ourselves." She searched his face. "But it's more than Betty, isn't it?"
      His forehead furrowed as he shoved his Stetson back and studied the sky. Ignoring her question, he asked abruptly,
      "Are you happy here?"
      In turn, she lifted her gaze to the horizon where a hawk hung motionless over some prey below. In a moment, he'd dive. Joey sighed. Every living thing had the right to survive. She switched her gaze to Cole. "I wouldn't say happy, exactly, but I'm not unhappy."
      He didn't seem to grasp the difference.
      "I love being with you." She stressed the word so that he'd get used to the concept. "I admire you and what you're doing with your ranch. I'd like to be a part of it." When she saw his expression softening, she continued in a gentler tone of voice. "I want us to be happy, Cole, but there's more than just the two of us to consider."
      He shifted his weight from boot to boot, then stood looking down at her.
      She glanced at the long expanse of denim. The faded material molded his leg, displaying solid muscle, another reminder of his entrenched ties to this land. "It's a stressful time." She leaned back on her hands to see his face. "Your household is invaded. We're the outsiders, trying to fit in. There's bound to be awkward moments til we all adjust."
      "You think that's going to happen?"
      "I'm trying, Cole," she spoke in quiet contrast to his brusque words. "I'm sorry Greg is--"
      "To hell with Greg," Cole interrupted. "I want to know about you."
      Joey surged to her feet at the harshness of his tone. "I can't just ignore him, you know. He's part of me."
      Cole's face stiffened. "You think telling me something I already know changes anything? You've got him sewn into your pocket. When are you going to let him grow up?"
      Joey reared back. "Are we back to this again?"
      Cole flicked a glance at the sky. "We'd better head in. Those clouds are getting closer."
      Stiff now from unaccustomed exercise, Joey bit back the heated words that flooded her mouth. If they didn't get to the bottom of this, for once and for all, what chance did they have? They'd have to do better than arguing every time they talked. Cole helped her mount and swung easily into his saddle. They rode back to the ranch in silence. The heavy clouds passed by overhead, momentarily darkening the sky, shading the golden aspen into deep bronze. Joey shivered. More than the weather had her worried.
      Cole slid inquiring looks her way every once in a while, but spoke only as they approached the corral. "You got something to say?"
      She considered telling him exactly what she thought. What she feared. She put it off until they were alone. "Nope," she forced a pleasant smile and searched for something to say. She needed time to think before they discussed this subject again. "I was thinking about a hot bath." Inspiration struck her. "About the tile in our bathroom. Would you mind if I-—"
      The diversion worked. He held his hand up to fend off a discussion on the merits of tile. "You do what you want, honey." She moaned as she lifted her right leg to dismount. The bath would do more than give her privacy to think. Cole helped her down as a young hand appeared to take the horses.
      Patting the mare's neck, Joey murmured her thanks for a nice ride. Cole turned away as another hand called to him and Joey made a bowlegged start for the house. When she came downstairs after her bath, moving only a little stiffly, she found her parents on the wide porch. The threat of rain had passed, leaving behind a hint of moisture in the air.
      With an afghan over his legs, Frank protested he didn't need all this fussing over him, but Joey noticed how he let Marie tuck in the edge of the blanket more securely at his waist.
      She gestured at the photo album in his lap. "What have you got there, Poppa?" Taking a closer look, she stared at her father in astonishment. "What on earth are you doing, dragging those old pictures with you?"
      Marie took the album. "I asked Ellen to bring them with her. I thought maybe Cole would like to see them."
      Joey blinked. "Why would he want to see my baby pictures?"
      "Baby pictures?" Coming up behind her, Cole reached for the album. "Got any on a bearskin rug?"
      After her soak, which left her body at ease but her mind still jumbled with fractured thoughts, disordered desires and hopeful dreams, Joey couldn't bear to expose anymore of herself to Cole until they had things settled. She pushed his arm away. "No."
      He held her off with one hand. "Let me see," he said and taking the album from Marie, he sat down in a wicker armchair. Joey stood stiffly while he riffled through the pages, laughing at some of her earlier pictures, then paused at one of her in full cowgirl regalia. A skinny nine-year-old Joey wore chaps and vest, an oversized Stetson low on her forehead and twin six guns slipping down non-existent hips. "Well, look at this. Annie Oakley, I presume?"
      Marie bent over his shoulder to look. "Oh, that's Joey's cowboy phase. She wouldn't answer to anything but Kid Joey. She drove me crazy with those cap pistols, shooting everything in sight."
      He shot Joey an amused look. "Kid Joey?"
      She bent to take the album away from him. "That's all silly, kid stuff."
      Marie laughed, egged on by the tug of war between Joey and Cole. "For a while, she couldn't make up her mind. She was either going to be the saloon girl with the heart of gold when she grew up-—"
      "Ah, that's where it comes from," Cole whispered so only Joey could hear.
      "-—or the rancher's daughter who single-handedly fought off all the outlaws," Marie continued.
      Cole laughed heartily. "I don't think we have any outlaws who need running off, but I'll keep it in mind."
      Joey succeeded in yanking the album out of his hands and held it close to her chest. She glared at Cole when he threatened to take it away from her. "If you're through laughing at me, I think I'll go make lunch."
      "I'm hungry, honey."
      She favored him with another glare. "You're always hungry."
      "Damned right," he said with a grin that brought a flush to her cheeks. "Hey. After you rustle us up some grub tonight, how about if I take Kid Joey out?"
     
      Tasting the words, she echoed, "Rustle up some grub?" At any other time, she'd have treasured this bit of light-hearted banter. Now she longed to be alone with him to clear the air. She didn't know where to find the strength to face another push-me, pull-me stressed out day. "Seeing how you're such a good cowpoke," he prompted.
      "I'm gonna poke you right in the eye, cowboy."
      His laughter followed her down the hall to the kitchen. Ellen, Greg and Jim were there, polishing off huge sandwiches. Greg rolled his eyes at the way Jim couldn't keep his eyes off Ellen as she daintily bit into a pickle.
      "Hi, guys. Did you make enough for everybody?"
      Ellen gestured at a platter covered with a napkin. "There will be if Greg stops feeding his face."
      Greg brushed crumbs off his multi-colored surfer shorts and stood. In a few minutes, Joey heard his feet pounding up the stairs and then loud music overhead. Sighing, she looked at Ellen. "Still mad, huh?"
      "Give him a little more time, Mom." J
      im flushed and spoke more to the floor than to Joey. "Think it'd be all right if I take Ellen out tonight?"
      Surprised, Joey sought Ellen's eyes before speaking. "Well, that's up to Ellen. She makes her own decisions."
      Ellen stood and headed for the back porch, Jim on her heels. A few minutes later, she came back in. From the window above the sink, Joey watched Jim walk to the barn, shoulders down. He kicked a rock.
      "I told him I'm going back to California," Ellen explained. "No point in getting something started."
      "He's a good man, Ellen. You could do worse."
      Ellen and Joey turnedfrom the window
      as one to stare at him.
      "He comes from good stock, over in the Livingston valley. He'll make something of himself one of these days, as soon as he can buy into some land of his own." Flushed, Ellen stood her ground. "I'm sure he will."
      "But you don't want any part of it?"
      "Don't put words in her mouth, Cole," Joey stepped in to put a hand on his arm. "Ellen's job is in California."
      Cole shrugged off her hand. "Suit yourselves, then." He grabbed up two sandwiches and left, his long strides making short work of the distance.
      "Wow," Ellen breathed. "What got into him?"
      "He's a little touchy about his way of life." Joey admitted, but omitted the rest of the disquiet between them.
      "I guess," Ellen echoed with more force. "Maybe it'd be better if I left early, then. I seem to be making things worse."
      Joey nodded slowly. "Maybe so. Once you're gone, Jim can get back to normal and Greg will have to make some effort."
      Ellen looked thoughtful. "You're sure he has to stay here, Mom? He could come back with me."
      "It's nice of you to offer, dear, but no."
      "Well, I was thinking of moving out, taking an apartment closer to work, but I don't like to leave the house empty. By the way, what are you going to do with it?"
      The house. One more thing Joey hadn't thought about it for days. She'd changed her life so dramatically the day she'd flown to Montana, she wasn't ready to make any more decisions. "I don't know. Do you mind staying there, just a little while longer, while I sort things out?"
      "Okay." Ellen tilted her head. "Greg could stay with me, too."
      "No. He's mad at me, but he'll have to get over it. After he graduates from high school, then we'll see."
      "But, Mom, everything he knows is back home. His friends, everything. You're asking an awful lot of him, to give that all up and live here with you. That's hard, especially when you're in high school, part of the crowd. He doesn't know anyone here."
      Joey knew Ellen was right but she couldn't let go of Greg. Not now, and not over this. If she gave in on this, he'd think he could get away with anything. She sighed. "I know it isn't easy for him, Ellen. He comes home from school every day more sullen than he left. I thought he'd feel better driving the truck Cole gave him to use, but you'd think it wasn't good enough for him."
      "He has a car at home, Mom. None of his friends drive the beat up trucks the boys use here."
      "I realize it's a status thing for him, Ellen. But those are working trucks. It's not surprising they're beat up."
      "You don't have to defend them to me, Mom. It's Greg who thinks they're beneath him."
      "He's not making it any easier, dragging that chip on his shoulder around with him. I tell him to make an effort, to give the kids here a chance, but he won't listen to me."
      "He's a fish out of water here. Forcing him isn't going to make him like it. I think you're making a mistake."
      That hurt, but Joey stiffened against the pain. "I'm still his mother, Ellen. I'll make the decisions."
      Ellen's eyes narrowed. "I'll see if I can change my reservations."
      The stiffness between Joey and Ellen lasted the rest of the day. Even after she'd rustled up the grub, as Cole kept teasing her, Joey kept glancing at Ellen, waiting for some indication that they could make up before Ellen left.
      ole lightly smacked her fanny. "C'mon, Kid Joey. Go put on those tight jeans and fancy pants boots. Let's go to town." "I'd rather not. Ellen's leaving tomorrow, and I'd like to spend some time with her."
      "Now, woman. Get yourself pretty." The look in his eyes decided her. She'd make sure she and Ellen had a chance to talk things out before she left. She'd also figure out a way to break Cole of his overbearing habits. Right now, she had fences of a different sort to mend. And things to settle. With a deliberate sashay, she headed for the stairs.
      "Anything you say, cowboy."

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Ready for the next chapter? violet Chapter Twenty-Two -- posted May 30, 1998

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Last updated: May 30, 1998