Bonnie Hamre Kaleidoscope

Kaleidoscope

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

     As if he'd known that Joey and Cole waited for him, Greg didn't show up until after eleven that night. By then Joey was pacing the floor, watching the clock and wearing herself out. Ellen had cooked a vegetarian dinner which Cole surprised himself by enjoying, but Joey had only picked at it.
      The sound of the front door opening made her whirl about and stare at the foyer.
      "Greg!" she cried, sounding both angry and relieved. "Where have you been?"
      Greg stopped and stared at his mother. Then his gaze shifted to Cole standing behind her. "What is he doing here?"
      "Where else would I be?" Cole answered, his voice deceptively mild.
      Joey rushed forward and threw her arms around Greg. Hugging him hard, she scolded, "What made you do that? Just take off without a word to anyone? You had me so scared. Oh, Greggie, what if something had happened to you?"
      Cole saw the triumph flash through Greg's eyes as he hugged Joey back. "I couldn't stay in Hicksville. We don't belong there, Mom."
      "You have to give it time. You'll see."
      Greg stiffened and pulled himself out of Joey's embrace. "I'm not going back."
      Cole took a step forward. "That's up to your mother, Greg. And me."
      "Forget that, dude."
      Joey looked from her son, stiff and sullen, to him and said, "Losing our tempers isn't going to help. Sit down, Greg, we have to talk."
      Greg plunked himself down, his long legs asprawl in a big easy chair. Cole glanced at his high tops, laces undone, and the brilliant colors in his pants and sat down across from him on the plush upholstered couch. He stretched an arm across the back, inviting Joey to join him.
      Instead, she hovered, finally settling on an ottoman, halfway between the two. He understood, but he didn't like it. She reached over to touch Greg's knee who jerked it away. Cole sat back, waiting.
      Her mouth quivering, Joey put her hand back in her lap. "What you did, Greg, was irresponsible. You had us searching everywhere for you. You made us all worry, both about you and Gramps."
      "You don't care. Since you married him, you don't care about us."
      "That's not true!" Joey burst out.
      "Yeah? Sure looks like it from here."
      "Greggie-—"
      "Don't call me Greggie, dammit!"
      "-—you and Ellen are the most important things in the world to me," Joey continued, ignoring Greg's outburst.
      "What about him?"
      Yes, what about me? Cole wanted to ask, but he remained silent, letting Joey answer for herself.
      Joey flicked a glance at Cole, then returned her gaze to Greg. "What I feel for Cole isn't the issue, here. Your behavior is."
      "So?"
      "Greg, you simply can't take off whenever you feel like it. You have responsibilities." Greg grunted, telling her without words how little he thought of that.
      "You have to finish school. You have to grow up," she said, with a sideways glance at Cole, telling him she remembered his comments.
      "I'm almost eighteen. I can do what I like."
      "Greg, don't push me on this. What you did was wrong, and you know it. Taking the truck and my credit card without permission, worrying us half to death—-you could have hurt Gramps' recovery."
      Greg wouldn't meet her eyes. Staring at his shoes, he mumbled, "Is he okay?"
      "Yes, but this wasn't good for him."
      "Greg, that was a damn fool stunt you pulled," Cole interjected, unable to keep silent any longer. "How are you going to make good on it?"
      Greg lifted surly eyes to him. "Meaning what?"
      "You figure it out."
      "Butt out, dude!"
      Cole's lips thinned. "Call me that one more time, and you and I'll do our talking in private."
      "Cole," Joey murmured. She stood and dusted her palms against her thighs. "We're all tired. Let's leave this for the morning." Greg was up and out of the room before Cole could speak. "You gonna let him get away with this?"
      "I don't know what I'm going to do," she answered honestly.
      "You'd better decide, double quick. You're letting him get away with too much. You're not helping him by being so soft."
      She closed her eyes. "I'm exhausted. Do you mind if we don't fight about that just now?"
      "Suit yourself. But the longer you put things off, the worse they get."
      "C'mon, Cole. Let's go to bed."
      "You go ahead. I think I'll sit here for a while."
      She shot him a confused look. Did he read fresh hurt there, or was it only the reminder of the scene with Greg? She turned away before he decided, before he could lay a palm against her cheek and reassure her. He heard her soft movements through the house, a door opening and closing, water running and then silence.
      Staring out at the dark ocean, he let his mind wander. He'd spent years living a simple life, and in the space of weeks, Joey had turned it all around. He wasn't used to the topsy turvy way she acted, her high energy, her total involvement in things. Life before Joey had been the routine dictated by ranch life, the changing of the seasons and Sam. Even before Sam married her, Betty adapted to the way they liked things, without trying to change them.
      Joey however, in her whirlwind way, had turned his life upside down. He wasn't sure he liked it, but what were his choices? He'd given Joey his word that he'd work to make their marriage work. If that meant putting up with her spoiled son, helping make a man of him, could he keep his word?
      He should be used to a boy's resentment of authority. God knows, Sam had challenged his every chance he got and a few more besides. It went with the territory of the male teenager. But Sam had had a goal, something he wanted out of life, something he wanted bad enough to work for it. That goal had kept him going when he was sure the world hated him.
      As far as he could see, Greg had no such motivation. Without something to egg him on, what did the kid have going for him? If Cole interfered, he knew he'd offend Joey again. If he kept his mouth shut, he'd choke on his growing anger.
     He spread his long legs and rested his elbows on his knees. With his head propped on twin fists, Cole searched his heart. Did he want this marriage enough to put up with Joey's family, and the problems they caused? Come to that, did he even have a right to ask Ellen and Greg to accept him just because he was filled with lust for their mother?
      Harshly, he examined his motives. They'd win no prize for humanitarianism, even though she filled him with a need to protect her and keep her safe from some of her wilder actions. Pure and simple, hunger drove him. A hunger so deep and vital he couldn't explain it, but it was a craving he couldn't deny. Her vibrancy, her zest, her laughter, all these delighted him, but it was her sensuality, her very nature, that had him enslaved. Damn. A man could get so hooked on a woman he didn't know what hit him. He was living proof of that.
      Uncomfortable with himself, he stretched out on the floor and tried to ignore the ache clawing at his gut. He knew if he walked down the hall to Joey, she'd welcome him into her bed. But, damn, he didn't feel right making love to her in the bed she'd shared with another man. Maybe if she'd cleared the room so that only her presence filled the luxurious spaces, he'd be able to close his mind to her first husband. But the clothes in the closet, the books by the bed and the masculine toiletries in the bathroom would make him feel like an adulterer.
      He'd be looking over his shoulder for Tom Fleming to walk in and catch him making love in his bed, to his wife. Everywhere he looked, he saw Tom. Pictures on the mantel, a rogue's gallery along one wall of the family room, all pointed to happier times when another man walked and breathed and loved Joey. Joey.
      His stomach cramping with feelings of dejection, Cole told himself he couldn't blame Joey for keeping Tom's things. How long had he left Sally's things untouched? How long had he worn his wedding ring, refusing to remove the link that helped keep Sally alive in his mind? He couldn't blame Joey.
      When she left here for Montana, Joey could have had no inkling that she'd be returning with a stranger, another husband, who would resent the hell out of Tom Fleming for having known and loved Joey first.
      Damn. A man could go crazy like this. Cole stretched uneasily. He didn't like feeling this way, thinking these thoughts, but what was he to do? He wanted Joey. He didn't want the hassles of her son. How could he have one without the other?

* * *
      Joey rolled over and put her hand out, searching instinctively for Cole. The other side of the king size bed was cold and empty. Sitting up, she snapped on her bedside slight and saw the pillow, unmussed and the sheet and blanket just as she'd folded them back earlier. Cole hadn't been to bed. Why?
      She rolled out of bed, and without bothering with a robe, padded barefoot down the long hall to the living room. Moonlight filtering though the wisps of sheer drapes gave her enough light to see him asleep on the floor. With an elbow tucked under his head, long legs crossed at the ankle, he looked as if he were out on the range. She sank down tailor fashion next to him and watched his chest rise and fall with his deep breathing.
      Tempted to stroke back the hair falling over his forehead, she held back, not wanting to wake him until she'd looked her fill. Tenderness welled up in her, making her feel like crying. She knew why he hadn't come to bed. First thing tomorrow, she'd clear out everything of Tom's. If she cried, she'd make sure Cole didn't see her tears. It wasn't fair to Cole to ask him to put up with things she hadn't had the strength to face before this.
      Maybe when he saw her making a place for him, he'd ease up a little about Greg. He'd brought Sam up to be an independent, self-thinking man. Even if he was a little rough around the edges, that was to be expected in a motherless house. She could understand that, but it didn't mean she wanted the same thing for Greg. Somehow she'd find the words to convince Cole to back off and give Greg a little slack.
      It was hard on Greg, losing his father and having to accept her abrupt and surprising new marriage. She and Cole hadn't fully discussed their roles as step-parents but until they did and until they came to a working arrangement, she was going to have to insist that Cole leave Greg to her.
      Cole stirred and opened one eye. "Joey?"
      "Hi," she whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."
      "What time is it?"
      "Late."
      He curled his shoulders, easing the stiffness. "I must have fallen asleep."
      "Ssh," she whispered and stretched out next to him. Placing her head on his chest, she curled into his side and wound her arm over his waist. "I missed you."
      His heart thumped under her ear. She turned her head and pressed soft, moist kisses wherever she could reach. Feeling his chest tighten as his abdominal muscles contracted, she turned more fully into him. "Make love with me, Cole."
      His groan was all the answer she needed. She tugged his head down and placed her lips against his, telling him without words how much she needed him.
      They made love without speaking, prolonging each sensation and drawing out the pleasure until Joey thought she'd shatter from the intensity. When at last Cole collapsed in her arms, she held him tightly, afraid that if she loosened her grip, she'd lose this closeness, this tenderness.
      How had he come to mean so much to her?
      When she woke, just before six, Cole wasn't beside her. Granted, he never slept late. Ingrained habit had him awake at dawn ready for the day's chores. But he had none here. Her body stiff from sleeping on the floor, she pulled herself to her feet and went in search of him. He wasn't in the house. Where could he be? She peered out her front windows, scanning the long empty road by the cliffs and then peeked out into each of the garden areas. No Cole. Worrying, she started coffee and headed for a long, hot shower.
      The water streamed over her head and shoulders, easing the kinks without loosening the tension that knotted her insides. Where had he gone? And why would he go anywhere without a word? Since they'd gotten here, Cole had grown moody, withdrawing into himself so deeply she found it hard to see the easygoing man she'd met in Montana. She couldn't blame him, she acknowledged, but it was hard not to compare the way he'd expected her to move into the ranch house and accept a brand new way of life with the way he'd acted since walking into her home. Why couldn't he be as accommodating? It wasn't fair to expect her, and her kids, to make all the adjustments.
      Big, insensitive cowboy. Come riding in off the range and expect everyone to jump out of his way. Well, she had a thing or two to say to him, all right.
      Wrapping a towel around her wet hair, she left the bathroom to find a steaming cup of tea waiting for her on the bedside table. The fragrant aroma of oranges and spice drew her closer, even as warmth spread through her. Drat the man. Just as she was working up a good mad, he'd do something thoughtful like this.
      An involuntary smile broke across her features. She pulled on a pair of jeans and slid into a T-shirt, barely noticing the gaudy design. Barefoot, still toweling her hair dry, she went to find Cole.
      He stood by the kitchen sink, leaning against the counter as he stared out the window at the small private garden she and Tom had build three years ago. Based on an Oriental theme, they'd managed to create an oasis of serenity with raked sand, evergreens, one dwarf pine tree and oversized rocks. She enjoyed working at the sink where she could rest her eyes on the tranquillity and more than once in the last year, she'd found herself sitting on the small stone bench taking comfort from something she and Tom had created together so lovingly.
      Joey stopped, caught by Cole's motionless stance. Once more, drawn by the width of his shoulders, and the sheer masculinity of his big body, she paused to admire him. His stillness warned her. Looking more closely, she saw the ridges of muscles tense across his back. She moved so she could see his profile, then wished she hadn't when she saw a muscle jerk along his jaw. Oh oh.
      "What's wrong, Cole?" she asked in a voice just barely above a whisper. He didn't respond. Joey thought he hadn't heard her and repeated her question. By the way he stiffened, she knew he was aware of her, and moved closer still. When he turned, Joey saw the dark circles under his eyes, the deep lines running from nose to mouth. He looked like he hadn't slept after their lovemaking. A shiver that had nothing to do with bare feet on cold tile swept through her.
     He stared down at her with eyes gone opaque. "Cole?" she whispered.
      "I've just realized how little I know you," he said as if picking up the threads of an interrupted conversation.
      "What?"
      "I never even wondered what your life was life before I met you," he went on, turning from her to stare out the window again. "I guess I was so dazzled your past didn't mean a damn thing. It's like I felt your life sbegan when we met." He grunted at his own arrogance. "That nothing but you and I mattered. And now..."
      She waited for him to go on, and when he didn't, she prompted, "And now?"
      "I realize what a damn fool I've been."
      Her throat tightened as a sharp pain lanced through her heart. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Swallowing hard, she managed, "What do you mean?"
      "You were right. I was wrong."
      "Wrong?" she said, stumbling over the word.

      "We had no business getting married. You can have your divorce."
      She had to sit before she collapsed. Sinking into a chair, she said, "I don't understand."
      "What's to understand, Joey? You were right all along. We don't belong together. I was a fool to think we could make it."
      "How can you say that after last night?" she cried.
      He grunted. "How do you think I felt, making love to you in his house?"
      "It's my house! Our house now."
      He shook his head. "Forget it. You want me to file, or will you?"
      "What if I don't want a divorce?"
      Spearing her with a cynical glance, he lifted one shoulder. "What would a woman like you—-with all this—-want with an old cowpoke like me?"
      "Stop that, Cole Lassiter! What's got into you, putting yourself down like that?"
      "Stop kidding yourself, Joey. I may be blinded with lust but I can still see the differences between us."
      "I thought it was more than lust between us," she whispered. "I thought we were falling in love."

Ready for the next chapter? Chapter Twenty-five -- August 1, 1998

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